Change

Our lives have turned upside down with the birth of Benjamin. Two 35 year olds who had been trucking along on our own for so long are now parents. It has been quite a shock to our entire being - as it should I think, but even more so than we ever imagined.

For example, I no longer set my alarm for anything - my alarm clock is Benjamin - a 5 week old person with the lungs for crying as that of an opera star. No need for a little beep beep on a clock.

Also, we feel as if we have become proctologists, pharmacists, patient liasions, cooks, maids, personal assistants, servants, shielders of wee/pee - look out Mt. Saint Helen's or Old Faithful, Ben's got you beat, chief bottle washers, and I hear someone stirring in the bedroom, so I'll hurry this up. We are realizing that being a parent means to sacrifice in ways we never imagined and in this we are so much more appreciative for our own parents.

One last thing - one day last week and today as well, Ben got so wound up because I wasn't moving fast enough to get his bottle ready and cried so hard he was forgetting to breathe and sounds like he's going to choke. This, of course, scares me, but what it made me realize is that sometimes in life with God we may not like how something's going or we may think He's taking too long to accomplish something, but what we do not know is that He is working for our good - He is getting that bottle ready as fast as He can so to speak - we just may not be able to see it. And, this made me realize, no matter how mad or upset we may get with the Lord sometimes, just as Ben loses it with me, all I want to do is console him and hold him and tell him it will be all right. And I believe the Lord is the same with us - He watches us throw a royal tantrum sometimes or being disobedient and He looks past that and just wants to hold us tighter and closer - letting us nestle right up to hear His heartbeat.